So 2018 has been ok so far.

I'm getting stressed with some stuff being piled onto me at work. Have to do a daily report now through Excel as well as a weekly and monthly report. I have to be more "strict" towards my direct reporting agents. Thankfully I only have like 6 actual people I'm in charge of for 2nd shift compared to my boss having like 15 for first shift. I'm hoping I'm not given any other bullshit to handle. I'm still handling emails queues even though I was told I shouldn't have that responsibility to worry about during evening on top of other things. We'll see. 

Still haven't gotten my raise. It's like I was brought in to the company for less money than the initial hires for the project. Then even after a year raise, I still didn't make as much as an initial hire and now I'm a manager on top of all of that at the same pay. I'm supposed to get a raise but I haven't heard back. Besides my reports, email queue, answering annoying questions and whatever else, I can be pretty lazy at work and know nearly everything for a few of the lines of business. Thats why I'm too content / haven't pushed myself to look for another job. People respect me and I'm generally happy. I'm afraid of starting all over again but at some point I will when I get tired of enough of the oddball bullshit here and there or watch the project burn to the ground. But I've dealt with some very toxic environments when I first came to NC in the work place and this place is so generally chill and accepting of me.

 Yesterday and today I didn't go to work because it was a snow day. I tried to go today but the roads were bad and my Escape was sliding even at times. I'm like fuck it, went to go get some food and came home and made Grilled Cheese sandwiches for my room mates all working from home. They have more respectable jobs but were at one point where I am now. I'll move up someday.

I joined a Dodgeball team. Its about 95% full on gay guys. I had never seen so many guys wearing leggings in a general area before xD I kinda clicked with one of the guys at the last hang out because we do go out to eat and drink after. I'm still shy / quiet and the only girl on that team. But the guys are funny and I don't mind being a bystander till we get to know each other better. I just hope they accept me. But they are all pretty friendly and have started to tell me more about their grindr adventures among other things.

I haven't kept to my diet lately. The snow just makes me want hot coco and sammiches and oatmeal / other cozy simple warm foods. I should try to get back into it next week. Or at least go work out regularly which I would have gone today being off work if it wasn't for the snow...

I'm gonna feel like shit in March when we go on the cruise if I don't get back on my diet / go to the gym. 

Tomorrow is Friday! I think the roads are clear enough for everyone to return to work and I'll just be ecstatic to get through the day because Saturday I have plans to go to Greensboro with my roomies and Adam to celebrate my birthday early. We're going to Edward Mckays which is a huge bookstore / dvd's / games etc. mostly used but they have new stuff too sometimes. Its like a Rasputin. If Rasputin still exists? Then we may go to a sushi buffet or something idk yet and then the BoxCar at that location which has newer arcades games than the one closer to us. I want to be there midday so that it's not overcrowded. It'll be about a 2 hour drive to there @__@

Wednesday, I'm trying to see if I can take the day off for my birthday just because, if I have to work it, oh well. But I was planning on working out and just pampering myself after.

Until I next time return to this blog (with Photobucket refusing to link photos now) see ya.

Over a year later update

Hi guys,

Its been awhile.

I got married to Matthew last month on October 7th. Its funny to read all of the stuff I was stressing about in my last post about the wedding and such.

The wedding went well :3 Kayla and Kate flew over from CA to be my Maid of Honor / Bridesmaid. I also had Julia as my other Bridesmaid. Josh (Matthews close friend) has ghosted us for whatever reason still. We had Walter and Kim as Best Man / Groomsmen. 

The venue wasn't too expensive and the photography was included. We found our own officiant who performed a non religious ceremony. My mom and Matthews mom provided the food and I got us an awesome cake with cupcake tiers at Publix. Overall, I'd say the entire wedding costed approx 4k for all the expenses Matthew and I paid for along with our parents / friends. Which isn't bad. 

I wish Kayla and Kate could of stayed longer but I know they have work and stuff to do. Time flew so fast during that week to me :[

Matthew has already booked a cruise for me and Kayla for March 2018. It will be a week long and we will be in the Haven which includes near the upper desk / private Haven areas and separate bedrooms. It will be very costly but I hope it goes amazingly.

I have been on a Ketogenic diet on and off since last January. I was getting fat with my desk job. I think I hit up to 183 lbs at one point. I'm now down to 167. So only up to 16 lbs lost cause I keep going off my diet. I'm more motivated to stick to it for the cruise since I'll be around the water / beach areas a lot. If I could get my butt to the gym in the mornings more often I would loose more. I also need to invest in good protein powder with few carbs. I generally eat under 20 combined grams of sugars / carbohydrates a day. I feel full really easily. I still get some cravings for fried food mainly. All I've been wanting lately is fried chicken tenders (which has carbs via the breading but if I can get it under 20 carbs / sugars for the day, I'll make it my "cheat meal" of the day). 

If Avocados stayed in season here and I didn't have to wait a week for them to ripen, it would make my life so much easier. They are a very good source of potassium and healthy fats.

I got promoted to shift lead. My favorite boss Paul is working in Memphis / Indiana now. He took us Shotgun shooting and I got to shoot his Mossburg 500 as well as going on "Team building exercises" at Carolina Ale House and other restaurants. He still messages me on Lync at work. Joe got pushed to his position and they both picked me to fill Joe's old role. I barley take any phone calls / I'm pretty much just watching our queue and fixing tickets/ helping others do their job and doing HR related tasks for my reports. The first day was chaotic with some outages but my reports were on it and we got through it quickly and efficiently. 

I now work like 12pm-8:30pm. Sometimes I stay till 9pm just to fix stuff without taking my last break. I feel like being out of tickets / off the phones itself is a break in itself sometimes. I attend meetings and just sit there lol; and other times I have nothing to do. I always try to look busy cause I know more work will be piled on me if I'm not busy. 

I have randomly been watching Yugioh! on Twitch which is still going. I'm surprised. I had no idea the original seasons cast of characters with Yugi went this far.

Tonight I am seeing Thor Ragnarok at a high end Cinema that has a nice lounge and bar and they serve food. I have loved almost all of their meals thus far. They are expensive though. My room mates gay boyfriend is visiting over and going to see it with us. Tomorrow I am seeing the 20th Pokemon movie in theaters (Fathom Events) and only working a half day. 

But now that I'm a shift lead, I will tolerate hanging out at my current company for awhile. Honestly I'm pretty content. I don't have to wake up at 6am anymore and time so far in the position is flying much faster. Matthew misses me more due to me not being home before him and is giving me a lot more attention lol but it feels like good attention most of the time as I realize I miss him too and re-emphasizes why we are together.

Nope...

Its been awhile.
My last post on this blog was about the contract on the house. Well... we ended up canceling during the due diligence. The bank wanted more than we expected on an FHA loan and my boyfriend was being simultaneously sued by his old employer for "breaking contract" (they wouldn't accept his 30 day notice as the contract required) so we backed out.

But in the end, even though I feel awful that Matthew lost money on the inspection and stuff, I'm glad we cancelled and moved out to a rental here in Raleigh. It's a massive house and I ended up with a better job. I now do tech support for the job I used to do haha. It's weird how that came about. It wasn't the initial project I was hired on for but ended up getting into.

So I make more $ and its prolly the easiest job I've had in a weird way (sadly) unless I come across something I've never heard of which happens once in awhile but still... got good support around me and everyone is laid back for the most part.

Doubt I'll stay with the company forever but I'm content for now. I have a weird fear that the project will disband at some point. Idk what I wanna do in life. Idk if I wanna go back to school for idk what degree. Will there be a student debt bubble popping at some point?

I'm engaged now to Matthew. Not sure when we'll have our wedding. I'm in no rush. I wanna pay off all my cc debt. I wanna save up too. I wanna take a trip to California with him. I want him to meet my friends in CA and see the places I grew up in / visit my favorite places. I want to eventually get a new car next year. Prizm still drives fine amazingly though but its also falling apart interior wise...

I feel stressed even thinking about planning the wedding. Who will actually show up? How much will catering decent food be? I have to order Matthews ring. Will I find a decent dress I like affordably. I wanna loose some weight before I even start looking at dresses. Can I fly my closest friends over from CA? Can I leave for the honeymoon right after the wedding or will I have to wait on it? Too much stress... I've barley planned anything at all.

But I'm perfectly fine living my day to day life. I try not to think too much. That's what I always do.

I have games to beat: Rise of the Tomb Raider. Star Ocean 5. Deux Ex Mankind Divided. And other games  I wanna pick up. 

At least its September. Hopefully it gets a lot cooler. Hopefully I can dye my hair a cool crazy color like Magenta again and get some comfy hoodies and hot coco / white girl pumpkin spice stuff and go Pokemon Go hunting and they will have better spawns / tracking and the buddy system out. I will be playing Pokemon Sun & Moon too once that hits. Fall / Winter is always my favorite time of year.

My anxiety is through the roof

So my boyfriend and I are under contract to get a house. I'll be the same distance from work and he'll be a bit closer to work, like 25 mins closer I think. We have a Home warranty on the house for a year and the seller will pay closing costs etc. If this all works out.

But I have been feeling really anxious lately, Idk if its about the house, or work, or my birth control I started a month ago? Probably a combo of all 3. I just hope it dies down at some point! I wake up in the middle of the night quite a few times last week with my heart racing and then take forever to go back to sleep. =/

But yeah gotta be at work at 5:30 in the morning for a class in Raleigh. Gotta get an inspection done for the house and come visit during it and take lots of photos / video for potential room mates etc.

But yeah this anxiety is bad and I hope it goes away soon...

So Google or whoever is hosting Blogger is giving me the option to buy a domain when I went to start this new post for $12. Would be nice to straight up have my *insertnamehere*.com I may look into that.

Work has been going well. Matthew and I are looking to buy a house in a few months or so. I'm heading to California on vacation at the end of May and hitting up Fanimecon. My paid vacation resets in June and at this point I get 11 paid days off every 6 months which will keep increasing alongside raises every year in the long run. 

I made a nifty collage today of Anime I grew up watching. I tried to cram everything onto here but I missed a minor few: 

I tried to make it mostly in order what I grew up watching from top left across going in rows down to the bottom right.

I am mainly looking forward to Digimon Adventure Tri whenever it comes out. 

Living out in North Carolina this past year and a half has made me care less overall what others think of me more and more.

I have a lot of creative ideas...and need to manage my time better to implement them. I wanna work more on art, creativity and my youtube channel but I never do. Someday I'll get to it.

I did juicing for 7 days straight and lost 10 lbs from that. Started eating again and gained 2 pounds but I've stayed at my weight. At some point I need to tackle another juicing reboot and working out simultaneously head on.

Remember when they said that what we want can never be done?

I haven't updated this blog in awhile. Been too busy to think about it.

So a lots changed in over a year of updating. Work at a much better place, in an office and get paid well. I'm not quite living paycheck to paycheck like I used to thankfully. But I do commute a lil bit more than I'm used to each day. Its worth it though.

Been reading lots of subreddits like Game Collecting, ASMR, Dave and Busters and Asian Beauty Skin Care stuff. Been buying new stuff to try out on my face like Mizon Snail Recovery Gel etc. I'm probably gonna start Dermastamping or rolling at some point.

I live with the boyfriend still :3 and we just got back from getting 40 Chicken Tumors at McDonalds in 21 degree weather at night. So tasty and bad for us xD

Hmm. My computer Thor is running well, great to be in the PC Master Race now. Took advantage of the Steam Sale over the holidays and bought some games! Still wondering what directions games will take from now, everything seems so plateaued out atm. Not currently interested in a PS4 or Xbox One. I might be if any good exclusive games come out. Otherwise my computer can handle anything on the market. We have a Wii U though. The new Smash Bros was fun for a couple days, but I miss the adventure mode that Melee had.

I have a Pikachu and Zelda Amiibo. And I didn't finish Hyrule Warriors yet >_>

Anyways, looking forward to later this month, cause its my birthday. I'll be going to Defy Gravity, the Trampoline place like Sky High except they also have a Ninja / Parkour type courses. Dinner and then going bar hopping with my bf, my brother and some friends.

The day before that I took off as a vacation day so I'll probably get my hair cut and a Pedicure and manicure. Just pamper myself. :] I haven't had a professional haircut since my sister in law moved and I trim my own hair normally.

The weekend after my birthday, my company is having a get together for non exempt employees and they're paying for us to see a movie and eat at Rudino's. So that will be fun!

Things I miss in California: 

• Kayla / Friends
• Most of my old coworkers
• Savemart Cookies
• Haruka Sushi Bar
• Ability to buy Alcohol cheaper & in grocery stores
• Togos / Butchers / Podesto Sandwiches
• Ono Hawaiian / L&L Hawaiian BBQ 
• Sakura Japanese Grocery Store
• Japan Town / San Francisco 
• Late night Movie Runs
• Geekup meetings (practically died)
• Staying out a lot later

Things I love in North Carolina

• Matthew / Friends
•  Most of my new coworkers / laidback workplace @IGA
• Being able to spend more time with my brother
• Sakura Japanese restaurant 
• Cookout / Fatbacks / Chick-fil-a in close proximity
• Colder weather / more overcast
• Trees / so green! 
• Living in a nice clean house
• Stores that remind me of the 90s (which I loved)
• Mostly generally cheaper prices (except alcohol)
• Most people are a lot nicer (but there will always be some assholes no matter where you end up)

Last Saturday, Matthew & I went to check out Dave & Busters in Cary that had opened recently. It was packed! Of course it was Black Friday weekend & it's the holiday season. I find it amusing that Dave & Busters carry Pump It Up Machines instead of DDR. 

We played Infinity Blade X & I played G Dragons Crayon on PIU. Plus spin the wheel, Pac Man Battle Royale & some bizarre Clown Shooting horror game that we beat together & got 2nd in the ranking :3

Ahh I wanna go back for my Birthday. 

After work today which went fast, I went to the mall & started Christmas shopping. But it's hard to figure out what to get certain people. And I don't wanna just get people gift cards. But time to finish up with some online shopping so the gifts are more unique and suited to whom I want to give them to. I saw SO much stuff I liked x_X now that the stores have changed what they stock cause weeks ago I saw absolutely nothing I wanted at the mall.

I still need my shelves put up in my room @_@